Sex Secrets of Mixed-Height Couples

If you and your partner have a significant difference in height, you're not alone in being curious about some of the mechanics of matching up all the parts.

Many shorter admirers try to seduce taller people by using the old adage, "We're all the same size while laying down" and I've even heard a few tall women use that expression too. I decided to explore this topic for the gal who remarked, "Guys only say that when they want to breath into the middle of my back and kick my calves while spooning."

Height Site Sex Survey

Some couples who responded to my Height Site survey reported that they don't feel limited in the positions they enjoy when it comes to lovemaking. Other couples said they were happy with what they do but were still curious about their options. The majority of respondents said that from time-to-time they have experienced awkward moments, especially with new partners, while switching positions.

Remember that in order to fully appreciate lovemaking, you have to discover what works for you and your partner as individuals. What is a plus for some could be a minus for others. Clear communication is key to making your experiments with these suggestions fun and sexy.

No one likes to be placed in an awkward position, especially when it comes to lovemaking. If your partner is significantly taller or shorter than you or vice versa, here are some things to consider.

Positions to Exaggerate the Height Difference During Sex

Since height difference is something that makes your coupling unique, some choose to exaggerate it and make it a more pronounced feature of lovemaking.

Both standing up

While it's been popularized in many adult films and erotic fiction, this position doesn't suit every couple. Some cautions to consider:

  • TALL HE / SHORT SHE: If your partner is significantly shorter, it would be very uncomfortable to be in a crouched position for a long period of time.

  • SHORT HE / TALL SHE: If you're significantly shorter than your partner, chances are you won't be able to get your penis high enough for penetration. If she crouches down to accommodate you for too long the pain in her thighs and legs may replace the pleasure she initially feels.

If you're determined to make this position work: you can always get creative with high heels, a milk crate, step stool or a box, moving to some stairs, steps and more.

Shower Sex

Having sex in a small space can be awkward enough for some couples, add to it a major difference in height between the partners and you could have a major scandal on your hands.

Because this match-up is so similar, please review the previous cautions.

If you're determined to make this position work: find a larger shower and maybe one with a seat or bench. You could also use a strong, waterproof box for the shorter partner to stand on. If either partner needs support, use the sturdiest walls not made of glass or consider installing the type of safety bars that assist the elderly or handicapped in and out of bathtubs so that they can be used for leverage.

Missionary Position

Many couples enjoy this position because its face-to-face nature can enhance feelings of intimacy but this position doesn't suit every couple.

  • TALL HE / SHORT SHE: If your partner is significantly shorter, mouth-to-mouth kissing and maintaining eye contact could induce pain in your back, neck or shoulders.

  • SHORT HE / TALL SHE: Although initial penetration may be easy, sometimes, you'll end up with constant "slippage" which proves annoying and nerve wracking for all involved. If there is quite a big difference in height, it may be difficult for her to lean forward and down enough to kiss comfortably and he may be giving her breasts more attention because your faces won't be at the same level.

If you're determined to make this position work: a tall man could abandon this position when pain becomes too distracting or alternate kissing/eye contact with periods of straitening up, closing your eyes and enjoying the pleasurable sensations before discomfort and pain begins.

A shorter male partner could start out slow and simulate penetration to assess the potential for "slippage" if you're comfortable proceeding, pay attention to your partner's reactions if you are too short to kiss her lips as she lays back, try to caress her face and hair as you kiss her neck.



Positions to Minimize The Height Difference During Sex

Many couples find that doing what they can to downplay their disparity in height fosters a greater sense of intimacy.

Doggie Style

While some may say that facing away from each other makes this position a bit impersonal it also allows for a greater focus on the sensations and less focus on the mechanics of creating them.

  • TALL HE / SHORT SHE: The guy could try taking a wider stance to lower his pelvis. You could also put pillows under her knees for elevation. Moving her to the edge of the bed and standing on the floor could also make matching up easier.

  • SHORT HE / TALL SHE: She can spread her knees out for a wider foundation or place the buttocks closer to the soles of her feet to allow for easier penetration.

Bunny Hop - Gal on Top

With the man laying down, the woman plants her feet or knees on the bed beside him and lowers herself onto his carrot. This position allows partners to maintain eye contact and intimacy even if kissing could be a little awkward or painful

  • TALL HE / SHORT SHE: Have her lean up a bit from time-to-time and let him pump.

  • SHORT HE / TALL SHE: This gives her more control and neither one of you need worry about getting crushed.

Sitting Up

This is popular with TALL HE / SHORT SHE couples, the man sits in a sturdy chair and holds his partner while she does her best impression of a wild woman at a rodeo. With enough support for leverage, TALL SHE / SHORT HE couples could find this a very pleasurable position too.

Kneeling - Prayer Position

This is a Missionary Position alternative where the man is on his knees, raises the woman's legs and places them on his shoulders or bends her legs to hold the backs of her thighs or calves.

  • TALL HE / SHORT SHE: Put pillows under the woman's pelvis or a foam wedge beneath her lower back. As a variation, pull her to the edge of the bed or find a countertop or table that is strong enough to support her weight and stand.

  • SHORT HE / TALL SHE: Use her legs for leverage and once you're in, show her your best moves.

The Y-Postion

This is a spooning alternative where you create a bit of distance between your upper bodies. With both partners on their sides the focus can be on the sensations of a gliding penetration without the distraction of one partner breathing into the other's back, neck or above the head.

Every Couple Is Unique

Remember that in order to fully appreciate lovemaking, you have to discover what works for you and your partner as individuals. Some of the aforementioned positions may not be suitable for your situation, but you should have enough ideas now to get creative. Ultimately you'll have to take the time to find out what does work and hopefully you'll have a lot of fun along the way.


Update: From the feedback to this article,
I was prompted to explore which tall-short sex
positions maximize intimacy
in mixed height couples.


Originally posted February 1, 2004. Updated November 21, 2010.   By: Quartknee




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